Expectations are what we think will happen or at least should happen. Reality is what actually does happen. If you’ve been alive for any length of time, you know that reality and expectations are often not the same. And yet…
Most of us still don’t temper or adjust our expectations–at least not in godliness and with true wisdom.
For this topic, we can turn to one of the most popular and memorized passages in the Bible:
“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
Proverbs 3:5-6, KJV
In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”
One of the ways we “lean” on our “own understanding” comes down to our expectations. We have certain things we expect from our family, friends, church, government, and even from God Himself. And our feelings and state of mind are influenced by how these various people or groups meet — or don’t meet — our expectations.
If our problem isn’t demanding or insisting that others meet our expectations, we can sometimes torture ourselves to meet other people’s expectations.
This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t hold one another accountable. It doesn’t mean we should let others walk all over us. That’s not what this article is about. I’m simply saying that we can’t base our happiness and peace of mind on other people meeting our expectations. We have to be realistic. We have to recognize that people are people and they are flawed. And they will never be anything other than flawed, imperfect people.
If you expect a perfect job, won’t happen. A perfect spouse? Nope. Perfect children? Haha. Perfect parents? Nope. A perfect church? Perfect pastor? No and no. Perfect friends? Yeah, not going to happen.
We also have to recognize this in ourselves. You and I aren’t perfect.
We all fall short of the glory of God.
The problem with judging ourselves against other people’s expectations or judging other people against our expectation is twofold:
- We will never measure up.
- We’re using the wrong yardstick.
Bruce Lee was a world-famous martial artist. He was not a Christian. Yet he once said something very profound about expectations: “I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.”
Here is the reality…
- Everyone (yourself included) is imperfect
- Other people don’t think the same way you do
- We all have some of the same needs and we also have unique needs
- Not everyone has the same level of mental and emotional health as you
- Not everyone has the same level of knowledge, awareness, or maturity as you
- Not everyone was raised the same as you or has had the same experiences as you
Re-read those sentences. Meditate on them. Let them sink in.
You can’t meet everyone’s expectations and no one can meet all of your expectations.
Re-read and meditate on that sentence too. 🙂 And let it sink in. I mean it. Let it sink in.
This is why we are told to put our trust in the Lord rather than place our confidence in people (see Psalm 118:8-9). It’s because only God is all-knowing and all-powerful. And God knows us better than anyone else, including ourselves. He also loves us unconditionally.
At the same time…
Don’t judge God based on your expectations.
Yep. Re-read that and let it sink in.
Here is why we can’t judge God based on our expectations…
“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts.”
Isaiah 55:8-9
We aren’t to judge God according to our expectations. We are to strive to meet His expectations.
You must humble yourself before God and come to God as He is — on His terms. You must trust Him with your whole heart. And not lean on your understanding. We must acknowledge Him in all that we do, and let Him direct our paths.
God bless you!
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