One of the wisest exhortations in all of Scripture comes from the book of James. In that wonderful book, James (the half-brother of Jesus) writes these words:
Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.
James 1:19-20, KJV
It would be wonderful if everyone on planet earth heeded these words, but let’s start with followers of God since this letter was written to believers in Jesus Christ.
And focusing even further, let’s narrow this down to you and me.
Since I ask myself these questions just about every week, let me pose them to you:
- Are you quick to listen?
- Are you slow to speak?
- Are you slow to anger?
For this short little blog post, let’s focus at the first two questions and save the other one for another time. When it comes to things on the news, disagreements with people in your life, or just everyday conversation…
Are you quick to listen or are you quick to respond?
Do you invest the time, the patience, and the energy in listening and striving to UNDERSTAND a person, issue, challenge, or situation?
Or are you quick to react and speak on the matter?
I’m sure you’ve had those frustrating and discouraging experiences when friends, family, or co-workers might initiate a conversation on a given topic only to shut that conversation down if they aren’t hearing what they want to hear.
When it comes to conversations, disagreements, or just in everyday life, you should care more about UNDERSTANDING than you do about expressing (and certainly more than venting).
This is what King Solomon had in mind when he wrote:
[L]et the wise listen and add to their learning,
Proverbs 1:5, NIV
and let the discerning get guidance…
Education is almost always better than expression.
As Stephen Covey writes (based on an old saying from St. Francis of Assisi): “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”
