Though I love to read, there are only about five books (aside from, of course, the Bible) that I would consider truly life-changing. Just five books in my 51 years of life that have spoken directly to my heart and soul, leaving a mark that changed how I approached life. This review is about one of those books!
Back in the summer of 2017, I purchased Unoffendable: How Just One Change Can Make All of Life Better by Brant Hansen. It was released in 2015, and I had heard good things about it, and chose to pick up a copy.
Unfortunately, I didn’t read it until the summer of 2019. I wish I would’ve done so right when it came out.
Brant Hansen has made a career as a radio host, blogger, and charity leader. He has won multiple National Personality of the Year awards. He also works with CURE International, a worldwide network of charity clinics and hospitals.
Unoffendable is Hansen’s first major book. He has since written two others: Blessed Are the Misfits: Great News for Believers who are Introverts, Spiritual Strugglers, or Just Feel Like They’re Missing Something (Thomas Nelson, 2017) and The Truth about Us: The Very Good News about How Very Bad We Are (Baker Books, 2020).
In Unoffendable, Hansen tackles the topics of Anger and Offense. And he makes the claims that, on most occasions, a true follower of Christ doesn’t have the right to be offended and that life will be a whole lot better for us when we accept that.
In what could be described as the thesis statement for the entire book, Hansen declares: “Your life will become less stressful when you give up your right to anger and offense.”
Anger is of course both real and powerful, but it’s a source of information and energy. That is all. It’s NOT supposed to automatically be given the driver’s seat. Hansen explains:
In the moment, everyone’s anger always seems righteous. Anger is a feeling, after all, and it sweeps over us and tells us we’re being denied something we should have. It provides its own justification. But an emotion is just an emotion. It’s not critical thinking. Anger doesn’t pause. We have to stop, and we have to question it.
Brant Hansen, Unoffendable, Thomas Nelson, 2015
Few people take the time to “stop” when offended and to “question” their anger, and this is among the reasons why our society is in such turmoil today. It’s also why so many people find themselves overwhelmed and often controlled by negative emotions.
It’s just not possible in this short review to capture the full essence of this book, but allow me to provide a few quotes below to give you an idea of the many nuggets of wisdom contained in Unoffendable:
- “Forfeiting our right to anger makes us deny ourselves, and makes us others-centered. When we start living this way, it changes everything.”
- “Grace isn’t for the deserving. Forgiving means surrendering your claim to resentment and letting go of anger.”
- “Letting go of offense and anger means forgiving, and forgiveness means sacrifice.”
- “If I get to determine whether my anger is righteous or not, I’m in trouble. So are you. The reason: we can’t trust ourselves.”
- “Anger is extraordinarily easy. It’s our default setting. Love is very difficult. Love is a miracle.”
- “Remember: Anger and rest are always at odds. You can’t have both at once.”
- “Being offended is a tiring business. Letting things go gives you energy.”
I cannot recommend this book highly enough. If you are someone who takes your Christian faith and the Bible seriously, and read this book with concentration and a receptive mind, it will change your life.
Of course, it is important to note that Hansen writes from the premise that God is real, the Bible is true, and Jesus is worth following. If these beliefs are not yours, then this book may seem off base – if not outright crazy.
And even for those of you who do share Hansen’s faith (and mine), you may wonder: “Wait a minute! Doesn’t GOD get offended and angry?”
Yes, He has and He does. But we are not God. As Hansen explains:
God is “allowed” anger, yes. And other things, too, that we’re not, like, say—for starters—vengeance. That’s His, and it makes sense, too, that we’re not allowed vengeance. Here’s one reason why: We stand as guilty as whoever is the target of our anger. But God? He doesn’t.
Ibid
Others may wonder whether setting anger and offense aside will result in injustice going unchallenged. Shouldn’t we be “outraged” in the face of injustice? Hansen answers:
Like the Reverend [Martin Luther] King, we can recognize injustice, grieve it, and act against it—but without rage, without malice, and without anger. We have enough motivation, I hope, to defend the defenseless and protect the vulnerable, without needing anger.
Ibid
What if someone truly does wrong by you? Well, rest assured, that will happen. And you too will wrong others.
But Jesus gives us the remedy for that in Matthew 18. We should confront the person and talk with them. But such a conversation needs to be handled in love, humility, and grace. And we must be willing to listen as much as we want to talk. In fact, we should listen more.
When it comes to resolving differences or righting wrongs, ask yourself this question: Do you want to be driven by anger or by love?
To be sure, this idea of surrendering our perceived (and often claimed) “right” to offense and anger runs counter to not only our human nature but to the prevailing mindset of our culture – especially in this “era of Outrage” in which we now live.
Nevertheless, Hansen’s book is solidly grounded in the word of God. Those who take Hansen’s exhortation seriously, and do their best to live by it, will find themselves more at peace and living in a way that brings glory to God and more closely resembles the Son He sent to die for our sins.
Order this book TODAY. Get it. Read it. And follow it.
You won’t regret it.
Unoffendable is available at most online book retailers, including ChristianBook.com, Amazon.com, and BN.com. It may also be available at your local library.
