Do you want peace in your home? Do you want a more solid, stable, and loving family life? Do you want your interaction with your spouse and your kids to be more harmonious and less contentious? If so, consider applying the principles of Ephesians 4 to your home.
Ephesians is a letter to a local church. And in Ephesians, Paul has a lot to say about how God’s people should interact with one another. And that includes husbands, wives, children, and parents. Paul dedicates a sizable amount of ink to the Christian’s home life in Ephesians 5 and 6, but few people apply Ephesians 4 to their marriage and parenting approach. This is unfortunate.
The fourth chapter of Ephesians is foundational to how we should see ourselves and how we should relate to others generally.
Paul opens the chapter by reminding us of our identity and calling:
I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that ye walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called, With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love; Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body, and one Spirit, even as ye are called in one hope of your calling; One Lord, one faith, one baptism, One God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all.
Paul the Apostle, Ephesians 4:1-6, KJV
This is the foundation. We are called to be followers of Jesus Christ. As such, when it comes to how we as believers interact with one another (and that would include in our homes as well as in our churches), we are to “walk worthy” of our calling in Christ and “keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”
How much effort do you put into acting like a Christian should act in your home? And how committed are you to contributing to (and helping maintain) “the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” in your home?
Of course, if you and your spouse are not on the same page spiritually, that presents some serious challenges. This is why Paul exhorts believers not to (among other things) marry unbelievers:
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
Paul the Apostle, II Corinthians 6:14, KJV
If you find yourself not on the same page spiritually with your spouse, I encourage you to pray earnestly and read through the Bible (focus on Proverbs and then Paul’s letters in the New Testament) for guidance and direction. You should also consider marriage counseling and biblical counseling on your situation.
I can perhaps say more on this subject in another article. For now, let me return to Ephesians 4.
The next few verses talk about the church and Jesus’s gifts to the church. There’s a lot of important theology in this part of Ephesians 4, which we can also address at another time.
At the midpoint of the chapter, Paul reemphasizes the theme of our new identity in Christ. We have been saved from our sins and thus should no longer walk “as the Gentiles walk” (verse 17).
(Note that, at the time of Paul’s writing, virtually all believers in Christ were Jewish converts. The Gentiles were almost universally still given over to paganism and the ways of the world. That of course would start to change as more Gentiles came to Christ).
Applying this to our marriages, Paul would say that our marriages should not be as those of the non-believers in Christ. A Christian’s home should be different from the world just as Christians should be distinct from the world.
Let’s look at how Paul closes out the chapter. And as you reflect on these words, focus on your relationship with your wife, husband, children, parents, and extended family:
Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another. Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil. Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth. Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
Paul the Apostle, Ephesians 4:25-32, KJV
Imagine if husbands, wives, parents, and kids lived up to those principles. Just imagine.
The world would be beating down the door to our churches, begging to hear how they can have a home life like believers in Christ have!
Family life is an emotional life. And there are ups and downs, to be sure. We are human. We are not perfect. And therefore, we will sometimes not act in the way God would have us, but the more we follow God’s word, the more peaceful our home lives can be.
And who doesn’t want more peace in their home?
God bless you and Happy Valentine’s Day.
