Do you care about your brothers and sisters in Christ, especially those who are a part of your church family? If so, you can encourage them in a very simple way:
Show up and Smile
If the church is doing what the church is supposed to be doing, then God’s people will gather together regularly and will help, support, and encourage one another. This is what the writer of Hebrews is getting at when he says:
Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;) And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.
Hebrews 10:23-25, KJV
As we hold onto our faith “without wavering,” we must look to each other — not just ourselves. We must “consider” others. As Paul says:
If there be therefore any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any bowels and mercies, Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.
Philippians 2:1-4
Do you see that? We must “esteem” others in our church fellowship. That means we must value and honor them. And we should not do anything “through strife or vainglory,” but rather, in humility, we should look out for the interests of others.
This is what the writer of Hebrews means when he says we are to “provoke unto love and good works.” That’s our pursuit. Or…
It should be.
Unfortunately, many people come to church primarily (if not exclusively) for what they can get. They are driven by the question: “What’s in it for me?”
And it’s certainly good that we come to church with a desire for spiritual food. That’s the main purpose of the sermon. And it’s why it’s healthy for us to set aside 30-60 minutes (or, in some churches, even more) each Sunday to quietly listen to the preaching and teaching of God’s word. But…
That’s not the only thing about church. It’s not the only reason we gather.
It’s good to be fed. But we should also want to help feed our brothers and sisters in Christ.
Even if your focus is on yourself, you’re never going to get the full experience of the church if you don’t show up and participate! But you certainly won’t be able to help, support, and encourage others effectively if you don’t show up and participate.
It’s discouraging to me when people pull away from the church. Not simply because I’m their pastor and I work hard to lay out a banquet meal (my sermons and lessons) for the church family I love, but mainly because of this…
When people pull away from church for a long period of time, and assuming they are relatively healthy (physically and mentally), I know they are making a conscious choice in their priorities.
When someone chooses not to go to church (over an extended period of time), that person is effectively saying:
- My spiritual growth as part of a body of fellow believers in Christ is not important to me
- The spiritual health and growth of my brothers and sisters in Christ are also not important to me
That is what we are effectively saying when we forsake (the word used in Hebrews) the “assembling of ourselves together.”
Yes, I know the excuses…
“The church is full of hypocrites”
As Zig Ziglar said (when someone said that to him), “Well come on out. We’ve got room for one more!”
We’re all imperfect. We all fall short. Everyone is messed up in some way and to some degree. You’ll never find a perfect Christian. Ever. But we do serve a perfect Christ!
Don’t make it your quest to find fault with others. Make it your goal to find opportunities to love and serve God — and to love others and stir them up to love and good works.
“I’m busy.”
So are most people — to varying degrees and in their own way. Life has a way of making us busy. But…
Being busy doesn’t mean you’re making progress.
Church is a way to check in on your spiritual progress, especially in your relationship with God.
Don’t be so busy that you don’t have time for God and others.
“My kids have sports (or *Insert whatever*)”
I am not levitical or puritanical about this. I understand that family events or activities come up and you may miss some Sundays here and there. I get it. But…
Looking at your calendar each year, how much of a priority do you put on church? Believe me, your kids notice. And if you show your kids through your example that church isn’t as important as sports, college, job, or sleeping in….
Don’t be surprised when your kids become adults and treat church (and God) as a non-priority.
And don’t be surprised when they pass that on to your grandkids.
“The church is too political.”
Find one that isn’t.
“I don’t like the preaching.”
Does your pastor “preach the word” (see II Timothy 4:2)?
That’s the question you should ask yourself. Not whether you are sufficiently entertained or whether you are in agreement with the pastor. It doesn’t matter ultimately how you or I feel about various issues often addressed in the pulpit. What matters is what God says on those subjects. So…again…
Does your pastor “preach the word”? That is what matters.
As long as your pastor loves the Lord, is living by the qualifications of an elder (see I Timothy 3 and Titus 1), and is preaching and teaching the word of God…
My advice? Pray for your pastor, pray for God to speak to you more through your pastor (and church in general), and then focus more on what you can learn from what is being preached and taught as opposed to how you may feel about the sermon.
“The church isn’t friendly or welcoming enough.”
Churches are full of imperfect and flawed people. And just about every church struggles (from time to time) with this, and maybe God wants you to help them in this area. Remember the proverb…
“A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly.” (Proverbs 18:24a)
And remember that we are to work together — together — to stir each other up to “love” and “good works.”
“I’ve been hurt in church.”
If you’ve been the victim of abusive, predatory, illegal, or toxic behavior, my heart goes out to you. That can (sadly and shamefully) happen in churches. And this is why the Bible has standards for pastors (see I Timothy 3 and Titus 1) and passages on church accountability and discipline (see Matthew 18:15-17, Galatians 6:1, Titus 3:10-11, Romans 16:17-18, I Thessalonians 5:12-15, and more).
When it comes to abusive, illegal, predatory, and toxic behavior, the church should practice loving accountability and (when necessary) discipline and even expulsion. That goes for pastors and everyday church members alike.
But…if we’re just talking about hurt feelings, then…I say with love…
Welcome to reality.
Few people get hurt in a church more than the pastor. I get hurt or discouraged, in some way, every month that I’m in ministry. In some seasons, I can get hurt several times a day. Even just today, I’ve received a discouraging text and a discouraging email. Virtually back to back. But…
That’s ministry.
And I had to shake it off and write this article.
I’m not going to let other people’s discouraging attitudes or words take away my desire to love and encourage others.
Will you?
I could keep going with the excuses I’ve heard, but you get the idea.
You’ll never find a perfect church. It doesn’t exist. God is calling you to fellowship with an imperfect church and then do your part to help make it better.
Of course, you can’t and shouldn’t outsource your spiritual growth to a church. We all (as individuals) need to be in prayer and in the Scriptures regularly — on our own and with our families. But the church does play a role – in your growth and in that of the others who attend your church.
We don’t just need to study God’s word individually. We need to study it corporately — by hearing the preaching and teaching of God’s word. And we don’t just worship individually. We must do so corporately –by singing praises to God as a church family. And we don’t just serve individually. We must also do so corporately as part of a loving, serving, and generous church family.
It warms the heart of God to see His people helping, supporting, and encouraging each other.
And one of the best ways you can encourage others is by showing up and smiling. Showing up demonstrates that you consider your spiritual growth and health a priority as well as the health and growth of your church family. And showing up with a smile demonstrates that you’re there with a positive attitude and ready to love and help others.
If you are not committed to the local church — and actually assembling with your local church — you’re not just hurting yourself. You’re also denying a blessing to others.
Be an active part of a Jesus-loving, Bible-centered fellowship of believers. And don’t just be on the books as a member. Don’t just be a face in the crowd. Get involved. And when you are involved, show up with a smile.
Whether we’re talking about a Sunday morning worship gathering (which all of us should attend as regularly as possible), a mid-week service, a small group Bible study or Sunday school class, a church outreach event, or a church fellowship or social activity…
Show up and (if you can) smile.
